Thursday, May 24, 2012

So long my adversary and friend...

SWIM:

0430 Alarm
0431 Complain about alarm
0432 Contemplate vomiting
0433 Dad reminds you about alarm
0434 Complain again
0435 Change clothes
0440 Eat bagel with peanut butter and honey
0441 Revisit previous idea of vomiting
0500 Leave for transition
0520 Tell Natasha (my bike) you'll see her soon (hoping it's not a lie)
0540 Get marked with numbers, laugh and say it tickles, volunteer asks, "Is this your first Ironman?" and sheepishly respond "yeah"
0541 Regret telling a complete stranger you never knew your calves were ticklish because no one had ever written on them before
0542 Blush and walk away regretting that Dan witness that entire conversation
0600 Drop off special needs bags and morning gear bag
0615 Regret dropping off gear bag so early, it's the only time of the day your going to miss your long sleeve top
0616 Wander aimlessly
0617 See your heart rate racing in Dan's watch
0625 Make a bathroom strategy - choose the park bathroom all the while knowing either choice is going to be terrible because your barefoot and your shoes are in your morning gear bag, avoid lingering on the idea of public bathroom sans shoes for fear of remembering 0432
0650 Walk very very very very slowly towards the swim start pretending like your moving but avoiding getting in the water at all costs
0652 Secretly mock the announcer on a power trip then envy him that he doesn't have to swim 2.4 miles
Lose all sense of time
Pro Start
Forced into the water after all possible forms of delay have been exhausted
Avoid crying
Deep breath
Find a place to hold onto the dock and wait for the cannon
CANNON, I think I screamed
Wait for the rush
Commence any form of swimming that is a forward motion
10 minutes elapses, CANNON
Fear for your life as the second wave of swimmers surrounds you, get pulled under, sputter, look for kayak, make move for kayak, hold on for dear life
Continue forward motion
Watch middle aged man drop out of the race and envy him
Check watch
Negotiate with yourself to just make it to the red turn around buoy
Tell spiky haired volunteer he's rude for telling you the red buoy is quite far away as you continue to doggie paddle
ARRIVE AT Red Buoy! CELEBRATE!
Try swimming like you practiced, 10 stokes, sight, choke on water.
Renegotiate, 20 strokes, sight, doggie paddle, 20 strokes, choke on water
Talk to very nice boy scouts that keep calling you ma'am and blame it on the swim cap making you look old
20 strokes, sputter, tell boy scouts you're ok
Make it to the final stretch
800 yards to go at about the 2 hour mark
Start making strange noises because no human should ever breaststroke that long
Make a friend with a girl in a kayak that promises to ride in next to you
Listen to her tell you to stroke, 20 strokes, you can hear the announcer
Turn the corner, see the clock 2:15... find the stairs, find the volunteer's hand helping you out
Cry
Get shuttled into transition still processing that you just swam 2.4 miles and really could become an Ironman today...






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